You've got no style

It's an age thing. At 13 I had fluorescent socks, DM boots and drain pipe black jeans. Now I'm 40 and my eldest son is 13. So, to go one further, he has bought trousers that have a crotch near his ankles.  They've got a special lower gusset sown in.

"Pure banging," apparently. "I can actually run a bit. But I cannae do the splits much. Big deal. These will be my party trousers."

What parties?  

"He's changing," said my wife. "He no longer wants to spend his life in cottons" (read 'trackies'). Here is me hoping that this new sartorial self-interest might also include a bigger emphasis on personal hygiene. Like I know. But at least I do know that I'm not supposed to understand.